They didn’t care about my pleasure, they disrespected and ignored me afterwards, and they were often pushy and coercive.
The more I learned about feminism, the more I realized that my experiences with casual sex with men fit into a much broader pattern of structural sexism.
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While the onlookers agreed that pastors have gone rogue and that the wife was out of order, it was the wounded husband who bore the brunt of the social scorn. As expected, social media commentators deduced that the man was an outright failure.
In a society where sexual prowess is a highly rated symbol of masculinity, news of your wife's affair with a man 30 years your senior, casts a man in very poor light.
They treated me that way because that’s how they’d learned to treat women (often not just in hookup situations, either), and the reason they’d learned to treat women that way was because they, like all of us, were raised in a sexist society.
Through their coded language and their failure to look at hookup culture through a feminist lens, these critics reveal the fact that, ultimately, they think that people (especially young people, and especially young women) having casual sex is just kind of immoral and icky.
Before I get started, though, I just want to note that I’ll primarily be examining heterosexual dynamics here because that’s what criticisms of “hookup culture” have primarily focused on.
But some parts of this article will also apply to queer hookups.
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A 70 year old pastor, was caught in a lodging in broad daylight with the wife of one of his congregants.
Pastors getting caught with their pants down is no longer news but the allure in this particular story was the woman's age.
The elderly man was dragged out by his shirt collar as he endured slaps to his face. He descended on her with blows and kicks whilst trying to strip her at the same time, I suppose to further humiliate her.