Being a Supportive Girlfriend Developing the Relationship Taking Care of Yourself Community Q&A Dating a musician, regardless of gender, is not always easy.
In fact, the life of a musician can make relationships hard.
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I’ll be writing this article based on my personal experience as a single male musician.
I’m also based in New York City, which makes dating even harder.
Don’t take my swearing-off musicians as a warning, per se. They have intense relationships with their band mates that will be more important to them than the relationship they have with you. It’s a wonder anyone in a band has time for a romantic relationship given how much time they spend bickering with each other over big egos, women, money, and God knows what else. So handle with care: the sweet, sensitive guy who writes you love songs is also going to be sensitive about that nasty Pitchfork commenter. Your musician boo may not write songs about you, exactly, but about your relationship or love in general.
On the contrary, my loss is your gain — the more for you! Whether it’s an all-out Axl Rose and Slash situation or more of a slow-simmering Keith Richards and Mick Jagger resentment, band bros have more drama than the “Real Housewives” cast.
But this will get more fucking annoying for you than the girls or the dudes in his band.
In the spirit of our Valentine’s Day issue, which is brimming with love . I’ve sat on an amp against the wall and wondered what I should do. The only exception to this rule is if you live together and sound check is an errand you must run in between going to Walgreen’s and going to Costco.If you are attending a sound check as an event, turn back now. Most likely, you’re really cool and a great person to hang out with for days on end which is why our bandmate is dating you. And do you really want to be trapped in a van with a bunch of people who haven’t showered and who keep cracking the window because they farted after eating dinner at a gas station? You don’t Do not, under any circumstances, except for certain circumstances, discourage your partner from being in their band.p .main-container #login input[type=text], .main-container #login input[type=password] .main-container #login input[type=text] .main-container #login input[type=password] .main-container #login div .main-container .remember-forgot .main-container .main-container .main-container #login div label .main-container button .main-container #social .main-container #social span .main-container #social span.facebook .main-container #social span.google .main-container #social span.twitter .main-container #social span.yahoo .main-container .main-container . You will always, unreservedly and unashamedly come second. He'll have more intense relationships with his bandmates than he'll ever have with you. Heck, if we didn't need to be at work at nine, we'd also be tempted to sip rioja in the kitchen at 2am on a Tuesday night, chewing the cud over whether Jeff Buckley's finest hour was prophetic in the wake of his unexpected demise. You don't get his Talking Heads circa reference but you laugh anyway and hope it slips under the radar. He can't fathom why you paid £50 to see Alt-J when he could have made a call and got you backstage. To the average musician, going abroad is for tours only and 'holidays' consist of watching old movies or meeting his friends in artisan coffee shops or dinge-bars. If you don't want to be sat alone at an hour's notice for the fourth time this week, eating ice cream and crying while you watch Ian Beale crying on Eastenders, get yourself a back-up plan. RELATED: THE EMOTIONAL STAGES OF BREAKING UP WITH A DICKHEADRELATED: 20 SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS FOR *LIFE*RELATED: THE EMOTIONAL STAGES OF BECOMING A COUPLE WHEN YOU'RE NOT 100% READY TO BE ONE Retro hair needn't always mean rolls and finger waves.You'll be dropped at a moment's notice when his guitarist is 'feeling meh', or his bassist's gerbil died…or he's been offered a plus one to a gig where he HATES the band but there might be a schmoozable contact there. Your desire to be in bed before 1am on a schoolnight will make you feel squarer than Spongebob and you can forget any notion that sex will happen within the confines of when "The Man" dictates you should have it.3. Ok so consciously-uncoupling's got Gwynnie written all over it but when quizzed about their split, Chris Martin essentially bemoaned his inability to extract enjoyment from what was otherwise a great relationship because of "this". The self-loathing that accompanies his 'gift' is part of the fabric of his being and as such, no singular experience is lived outside its realms. Your trip to Glastonbury made him gag at the thought of meaningless escapism for average people to get off their tits and pretend they're bohemian for a week. be prepared to embrace your new life as the NOT-cool one.7. He simply cannot fathom why you'd willingly pay upwards of £300 to sit on a beach elsewhere as that would be passing up opportunities to hang out in artisan coffee shops and dinge-bars. His hand-to-mouth existence means the prospect of planning anything beyond the next three hours makes his palms sweat. Iggy channelled the past with a structured high ponytail and a side-sweeping fringe section.and again and again the same patterns would repeat themselves that led to us breaking up. I perfected the “watchful girlfriend off to the side” stance — not possessively hovering too close, but also making it clear to both him and the other chicks that I was watching. You’ll be expected to go to not just some gigs, but probably their shows. Make no mistake: these are all serious things to consider if you’re dating a successful musician. But if you’re also a night owl, then this relationship could work out great. We put our souls into what we do, so we can’t help but take it very, very personally if people don’t like it — even if we’ve become successful doing it professionally. If you go to bed with a writer, expect to wake up with shit written about you.