I recently met a recovering alcoholic (2 years sober).
From what I have read here and what I personally know, many alcoholics who do not "work on" their recoveries end up "dry drunks"....quit using and drinking but don't deal with the issues that caused those behaviours. I must say that it is a world that I no longer want to be in.
I wish him continued success in his recovery and hope that you always remember to take care of yourself.
Are there questions I should ask him about his recovery his sobriety? Personally, I would do what you are doing -- educate yourself about the disease so you can then make an informed decision as to whether you want to be involved with a recovering alcoholic or not. I think captain's suggestion of attending an open AA meeting or alanon is a great one as well.
Other than time and conversation (as in all relationships) is there any way to find out if he's ready for a relationship? Is he in any type of program or getting any type of support? It is a different world, being around alcoholics and addicts.
and in that case, relapsing is very much a possibility.
However, if intentions and motives were above board, could going against and disobeying a major rule or suggestion in early recovery produce a successful relationship? Could two addict/alcoholics produce a positive relationship?
My biggest issue with one of these rules when I first got sober was on a sweltering Phoenix summer day while sitting in rehab last August.
Admittedly, how and where I was going to meet girls when I successfully completed this 90 day transformation from drugs and alcohol should have been the last thing on my mind.
Is this the first time you have found yourself in a relationship with someone who cannot drink – even in social situations?
Do you find yourself confused at times about how to interact with this person because you fear causing them discomfort?
I think there are a lot of great things you hear in early sobriety, especially in 12 step meetings.