Upset as she was, Farr remembered the rules imposed by her own Irish-Italian parents, who had once forbidden her from dating anyone who was black or Puerto Rican.And many of her friends' parents, she later learned, had also imposed similar rules on their children.Walking outside of my door each day, I’m greeted by many different neighbors.
She was determined to fight for her beau, and he for his parents to accept her.
The couple's story, which has a happy ending, is the basis for Farr's new memoir, titled “Kissing Outside the Lines: A True Story of Love and Race and Happily Ever After,” published by Seal Press.
My mom still asks me when I'm going to marry my best friend, but I don't want to.
Well, I kind of don't really listen to my mom anyways and most of the things she says I just tone out completely, and since I don't really get along with Korean girls at all... But then again, I think my mom would rather become a grandmother one day so she can have a baby to play with than to have her son die all alone, since the chance of me marrying a Korean girl are about the same as getting struck by lightning, twice.
M-A: When your husband told you that his parents would likely not accept you, how did you make peace with that?
There was the possibility that they never might, or that your relationship might cause him to be alienated from them. Farr: From the first conversation I had with my husband about his parents' wish that he marry a Korean person, I felt badly for him.
In this case, I feel that it’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
Don’t tell your parents that you are setting out to date someone who’s not Indian because they might think that you are purposely trying to act against their wishes.
If you do end up dating an Indian guy, the potential conflict you might have with them would be kind of irrelevant anyway.
If you do happen to start dating someone who’s not Indian, you should tell your parents that you’ve been dating this amazing guy who has xyz good characteristics and is making you happy. If they value chivalry, honesty, loyalty, intellect, ambition, and so forth, emphasize these aspects of his character and identity.
As they do this marrying into their own for lack of a better term, more often than not no one questions this practice.