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(See below) She could be cute, hot and a great person. Because great as those are, none of those things mean that you and she are compatible for the long haul. None of us is born knowing how to have a happy, healthy, lasting relationship, and most of us didn’t learn it from our parents, either!
You could have a magical, heartfelt connection and amazing chemistry. Check out our book Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love for more info on how to avoid this and other common lesbian relationship problems, or take the ground-breaking online course The 12-Week Roadmap To Conscious Lesbian Dating and lasting Love. Who needs any of that when you’re in a good relationship, right? Sacrificing yourself or changing your life for your girlfriend creates all kinds of lesbian relationship problems.
If one person is doing most of the housework, for example, what would be an ideal scenario that takes both partners’ skills, schedules, and other contributions into consideration?
When you begin the conversation with goals, it gets both partners thinking about solutions, possibilities, and opportunities for change.
One choice is to view the issue as a problem and discuss who’s to blame, how it happened, and how it makes you feel.
A better choice is to discuss the issue in terms of a goal.
Don’t move in together, get engaged, get married or make other big plans within the first six months, no matter how tempted you are. Don’t believe the fantasy that your problems or incompatibilities will “get better with time;” most often they’ll actually get worse.
Love does not conquer all – you also need to have compatibility!
If this sounds familiar, Salama suggests it is important for us all to occasionally take a step back and analyse the situation objectively.