Dating and paying for dates

Why, as other sexist institutions gradually dissolve, does this one stubbornly hang on?A survey released yesterday morning found that about 77 percent of people in straight relationships believe men should pay the bill on a first date.This makes them 9% more likely to do so than older women, but the numbers still surprised me — while simultaneously helping me understand the behavior of my recent dates: 60% of millennial men said they would pay the entire tab on a first date (compared to 67% of older men).

Guys, for the most part, say they’re picking up the tab (59%). About one in five say that they expect their date to pay. The remaining female members (23%) choose to skip the question entirely.

This makes the question of paying the bill one of the most skipped questions on Ok Cupid; for reference, people skip the question “How do you feel about anal sex” only 3% more often.

Dating started with urban, working, lower classes, but quickly spread to public acceptance. Here are but a few: If you think the “who pays for the date” issue is a more recent debate, think again.

As opposed to “calling” which was centered on courtship for the purpose of marriage, dating was much more casual and centered around entertainment (i.e. When the courting system shifted from calling to dating, courtship moved from the woman’s domain (her home) to the man’s sphere as author Beth Bailey describes in The man now chose when and where the date would occur. It wasn’t proper for a man to come by uninvited, much like today.

Under the calling system, the woman took the initiative, gave permission to a guy to come to her home, and would then decide if she wanted to meet with him. With dating, men did the inviting and became the hosts.

It was now acceptable to take a woman out in public. Some have suggested men paid for dates because women didn’t have jobs, but that’s not really the case.

So, they always anticipate splitting the bill but wish the old-school expectation for guys to get the first date tab would reemerge. And I hear the arguments for equality and fairness.

If the guy isn’t jumping at the check, I don’t blame you for reaching, and I think it’s cool to give him the benefit of the doubt.

In the ’20s women were liberated to vote, became part of an emerging work force (although they were paid half the wages of men), and attended college.

While etiquette states, “Whoever hosts, pays,” in 1925, we find men complaining about the money and dating issue.

When I started dating my very first boyfriend as a sophomore in high school, I was adamant that I pay for my own meals. This became such a point of contention that we eventually broke up over an otherwise enjoyable night of thai (that he insisted on paying for).

Dating and paying for dates

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